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As I lean into this month of New Year Reconnection (over resolution), I’ve had some revelations when it comes to relationships. (That’s a lot of “Rs”.)  

So much has changed within our lifetimes, yet so much of how we interact with each other has not been rewritten. We’re doing what we’ve always done in relationships because, well, it’s always been done this way. In fact, many “best practices” we employ to interact with each other were created for a world that no longer exists. And the evidence that we simply cannot do things effectively in a disconnected world? The cost? A mental health pandemic.  

How have we gotten so far away from this in our families, our friendships, our communities, our organizations, you ask? So many little things have added up to so much disconnect. And it’s the little things, reminding each of us, one by one, that we have everything we need, right here, right now, to reconnect and bring us back home. 

The problem is, we’re fucking tired. All the yoga, kale, and getting your water in doesn’t address what we are wired for: connection. To other people.  

So the answer, in fact, does indeed start within us. Not with just the bullshit “self-care” strategies, but with the simple understanding and acknowledgment of just how much it takes to show up for each other. I have nothing but hope that we can find our way home together because we will never outgrow or automate this process of seeing and feeling seen. It just takes practice.  

The first part of Feeling Seen (my latest book) is a critical look at some of the contributors to how we got so lost and disconnected. We could easily just jump to how we fix it all, but, believe me when I say this: You can’t address what you don’t acknowledge. So gently, but with conviction, join me as we unpack some of the things that are adding to the disconnect many of us are mired in.  

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