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It’s lonely at the top. Especially today, as we manage through the most disconnected time in the history. Heavy is the head who wears the crown. And guess what? The ones who are best at stuffing their emotions are often our coaches, politicians, teachers, and executives.

There is a fragility in the way our leaders are exposed, torn down, and easily targeted for criticism. Where are they putting all that emotion? Being the boss is not as easy as it looks. It’s important to remember that the good leaders have done “the work”, and it’s in that vulnerability where the real power lies.

For great leaders, it’s not about winning or losing – it’s about showing up for a team, building them up and having faith in their abilities. Actually relinquishing control, trusting the team, and letting go of the outcome. (Which I find painful, because hello? A leader’s entire job is to control the outcome.)

What can our lonely leaders do to get back in the game?

Leaders who are feeling disconnected get this advice from me: Sit with the winners. The conversation is different. The people you surround yourself with will become the village that creates your most success. It never ceases to amaze me that the ones who are most able to look and see seem to be the ones who have created the most solid safety nets around them.

What matters the most when we’re facing challenging times is our people. So, who are they? Connect to your breath and think, in any moment of overwhelm or distress, who do you need to connect with to fill your soul? Those are your people. The ones that make you feel seen and heard and understand the process of challenging us in the right moment. Slow it down and notice who your people are, and how much space you’re making for them. Notice what happens to your soul at the mere thought of them.

The key to staying in the game? 

Getting reconnected to the ones who matter most and finding the capacity to express the emotions that we sometimes hold on to too tight.  The time is now, sweet leaders. Reconnect like it’s your job. They need it. And so do you.


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