The New Year inundates us with suggestions to change our bodies, reinvent our goals, and get (fucking) motivated. As much as it feels like a blank canvas for us to commit to something greater, I want to remind you that you, exactly as you are right here, is all we need. If you only knew that in this moment, you are more than perfectly on time.
Are New Year’s Resolutions bullshit? Not necessarily – goal setting is not a bad thing. So long as you honour the journey that comes with it. Invest your emotions in the process of “improvement” and worry less about the outcome. I think it’s time we reframe the term “resolution” and focus more on intention. Resolutions tend to highlight what’s lacking, whereas intentions build on the amazing things in our lives that we already have.
When we focus on intention, “I want to wake up at 5:00am daily” becomes “I will prioritize restorative, consistent sleep this year”. And “I want stronger relationships” becomes “I will live with more compassion for myself and others.” That feels better, right?
Enter James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, with his killer line, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” Mr. Clear says your goal is your desired outcome. Your system is the collection of daily habits that will get you there. So perhaps dear ones, this year we spend less time focusing on outcomes and more time focusing on the “habits that precede the results.”
And most importantly, don’t forget to reflect on the year that passed. What were the highlights? What felt right and who was riding shotgun beside you? What do you need this year to thrive?
My friends, it always comes back to reconnection.
When we’re reconnected, to ourselves and our people, that is where growth happens. That is when the soul is nourished. But maintaining and sustaining our relationships with others all comes back to how we look after ourselves.
So before you “Marie Kondo” your whole life, set a goal around just sinking in—to yourself, and all the good from last year. The people you loved on, and the people who loved on you. If you only knew how powerful that is, and how much you mean to someone.